Thursday, July 7, 2011

I just don´t see the problem

I must admit this is a recent phenomena, I used to be an expert in seeing problems, detecting them before they arose, analyzing them at length and creating some new ones as I went along. For most problems, real or imaginary, I could sum up an impressive list of solutions and although I tend to lean towards the more simple ones, the ones I could single handedly handle, I could, if in the mood, spin solutions so complex that for them to work the whole world needed to change drastically. But of late I just don’t see the problem.

This does by no means mean that live is smooth sailing and besides I used to see a problem in sailing smoothly anyway. No, life still shows itself in all its facets and a lot of those facets you could, if you wanted to,  label as a problem. For instants, recently I moved house and homeland, now if you want to see problems lining up, move house. Although it was a lot of hard work, I never saw the problem. By the way that was the first time I noticed this strange new phenomena, I contributed this to lake of sleep and the long days of hard work. But just a few days ago I realized it has become a more permanent thing.

I not only moved stuff from one place to another but also NaNa and Flow and my 14 year old mare Ness. After a days ride I put her on what I thought was a fenced of field, I fed her and gave her water and headed home. The next day she was nowhere to be found not even a mark on the ground or a pile of shit to tell me where she went. Now I must admit that I could feel panic present itself and the machine of seeing problems started ticking, but as soon as it started it stopped. While walking around looking for shit I questioned myself: “don’t you love Ness?, there is 80.000 acres of woodland for her to get lost in”. But loving her was not the problem nor the solution, that is just the way it is. As I drove home to get the dogs and start a  searchge party I tried to get myself in problem solving mode, but I couldn’t. I just went back with the dogs and started the party to search with an ease and calmness that did not feel out of sorts to me at all.

After a long day of fruitless searching and with a lot of talking to people who know people I sat on the stairs in my new house and wondered when the problem would hit me, but it didn’t, nor did the panic.

The next morning I went back to look for her and after a few hours of walking and driving around I stopped at my local café for a cup of coffee and told of my missing horse. Before I knew it people who knew people where called and the location of Ness was known. I went to pick her up and there I found myself in the middle of nowhere with a car, two dogs of leash, with Flow loving to chase anything and everything and a frantic horse on a piece of string and I just could not see the problem, all I could see was the action to take; moving forward freely and taking it as it comes.

The farmer, whose field it was, grinned at this peculiar gathering of souls, he parked my car and told me have faith and off we went. It was a four hour walk filled with fantastic moments and incredible sights and with every step I could feel this new phenomena become more me.  I put Ness back in her field and fenced it of properly this time and sat down next to her tired and grateful. A neighbor passed by and I told my story of the missing horse and the long walk. ”You must be tired then” she responded. “Yep” I replied happily “and all I need to do now is to walk all the way back to get to my car”. She let out a big sigh and shook her head in dismay, but as I saw the sun melting slowly with the mountains, I just could not see the problem.

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