Shut up!

The aim in many traditions seems to be to stop talking to yourself, the idea being that we talk to ourselves constantly and thus keeping the world the way we perceive it and at a constant. You tell yourself what and who you like and don’t like, how you should feel about the weather, the world., how nice the zebra’s and artichokes look on the white wall and that you should be silence while meditating.

There were times that I shouted “shut up” in my head and then shouted “shut up” to what ever was shouting “shut up” in the first place. I would get angry and upset and incredibly frustrated, but I couldn’t stop talking to myself. Then I started to listen carefully to what ever I was saying to myself about the world, about people and about situations, at first I was amazed about what a blabber mouth I was, but getting over this initial shock I started to listen for the opinions I formed and perpetual jousts I hold dear, I started to test them by asking critical or silly questions which was a shock to the system. After a while it became increasingly difficult to take (what I was saying to) myself serious. I still talk to myself, but because I don’t have to take it seriously I am silent more often, and when I do go off in a rattling rampaged I tend to listen to it carefully with a sincere abandon.